Friday, October 30, 2009

I can't get out yet

Wow, this has been the most productive and unproductive week in the longest time. I have not been giving work the attention it deserves due to the arrival of my cousin, who is complete consumed by his pursuit of a career in hip-hop. I love it when people are passionate and driven, but I don't think I have the energy to drive everyone's projects. I should if I am claiming to want to be a creative director. I don't think my job is very creative, it can be at times, but most of it is managerial and that is what makes it hard. I have been searching for ways to build better ways of doing things and constantly finding that that way doesn't work or is not going to work very long. I have been at this job as Digital Media Developer for more then 3 years, I think, and I really feel like I have nothing to show. Well today after, being asked, for the second time, what am I doing "HERE" in so many words, and then getting frustrated with one of my employees I said it is time for a job change. So I went on the web and started searching for creative jobs. I started with looking for a position as a creative director, and came to conclusion that I have not been telling people what to do for long enough. I need another 4 - 7 years and I am golden, so I down graded and realized that any creative job would be great, and I found a sweet one. But once again the "Submit your demo reel" monster reared it head and I am hit the same wall I hit when I think about applying to Pixar, "I GOT NOTHING!" Well, in due time. Right now I am working on a music video for the rap obsesses cousin so hopefully that will be another piece in my portfolio. Although the quality of my products are slowly improving, the most difficult skill to develop is patience. The time will come when I have all the pieces to get out of this Tech heavy job and into a more design creativity position, till then I will use the equipment at my disposal to build my master pieces.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Becoming a writer

So, I wear several hats, and one of them is apparently a writer. I spent the past weekend with my favorite and closest immediate family, the Butlers, Rathje's and Crowes, (sorry Sid not sure if it ends with an "e" or not. ) The great thing about family is that you are allowed to be completely you, and they understand cause that is who you are. Well, Tayah has taken a job with University of Oregon and I think she may have just locked into her thing. The occasion that took me down to Eugene was Maggies, my 4 year old niece, to only grand child of the Butler Rathje lineage, but Loren and Brandon will soon put an end to Maggie's Monopoly of the Grandparent Attention, well not just grands, but everyone's. Eugene is about a 3 and half hour drive from my place which is about 15 minutes south of actual tacoma, so when I am driving back I always get back sooner then expected cause the signs only give the distant to downtown Tacoma, and not to Parkland. We are too little to warrant a place on the sign into town. I love my West coast family and it is nice to have them within driving distance, they are also very accomendating of my girls, Roxy and Karma, who have for all thier trouble when we first began our relationships have learned to work with me. Roxy a content Austrailian cattle dog, has gone from a Tasmanian devil to a steward of the house hold, her ability to walk without a leash and stay where I tell her when I go into work astounds me on a daily basis. Karma, is for all intents and purposed a direct translation of her name, reminding me everyday the world is not perfect and that the balance between good and bad is only keep in check by addressing both. I have totally forgotten what I originally set out to state in this blog, but I am sure it will come to me again much more profound that it did this evening sipping away on my 4th shot of tequilla, dreaming of the beautiful moment I had with all the people I loved over the last 32 years of my life.
Thank you.
Nick (buzzed)